When I first met my husband I was a single mom with a seven year old daughter. Hearing him tell me he did not want babies was such a relaxing feeling. I’d been there and done that and had no desire to start over. Of course his reasoning was nothing to be happy about.
My husband is one out of three boys born without kidney disease in his family. Because his father moved on and fathered two daughters with another woman, one also born with kidney disease, it’s safe to say it is his gene that carries this rare disease. The scary part being he had no sign of illness or being a carrier.
After watching his brothers suffer through hospital stays, transplants, meds and dialysis over the years this was something my husband did not want to risk passing on. Like his father, he has no signs of illness but worries about being a carrier. So kids were not in his plan when we met.
Then we got serious and fell in love. Funny how love can change what you “thought” you wanted out of life. Together, marriage, house and a shot at a real family was what we both ending up wanting.
After telling ourselves and hearing it from doctors that it was only a chance of this happening, the thought of him possible being a carrier of this ugly disease no long was first and for most important.
After two years of dealing with some health issues of my own that caused us to be reproductive challenged, we finally conceived.
The pregnancy was a hard one. In and out of hospitals and a lot of added ultra sounds to watch the kidneys develop. But it all paid off when we brought home our beautiful, healthy baby girl.
So far ten years later Allison shows no sign of illness. We had a couple of frightening moments while she was toddler that turned out to be only infections and I thank god for that everyday. But the worry is far from over. Honestly now that she is ten or in the double digit’s as she likes to say, I am starting to really be scared.
This is a rare and tragic disease that didn’t show up in his siblings until their teen years and then ended up taking all three of their lives by their mid thirties.
There are times I think about it and I just can’t breathe. Then I remind myself of my own words, that we can’t over worry or stress over something that might not even happen. Something that is only a chance. That is what I reminded my husband and myself years ago when we made the decision to conceive.
The plan is to start testing her kidneys yearly at age ten. So today I am going to call and make that first appointment. Which just the thought of has always made my gut twist. Ten has always sounded so far away. I can’t believe we are here already, here in the double digits.
10.16.09 updates -
Yesterday we saw the doctor and went over Allison’s tests and physical. As of now she has no sign of kidney trouble. What a relief. Until we have to test her again next year I feel like I can breathe again.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I hope all goes well! I will be sending lots of healthy vibes to Allison! You are a great mom and being on top of this will definitely help anything that comes up.
That’s a sound plan….definitely better to know what you’re dealiing with, if you’re dealing with anything at all. Best of luck to your family!
best wishes! I hope all goes well. and enjoy every precious moment.
I think you two are very smart at early screening. There is nothing wrong with having a little peace of mind.
YOU think double digits came fast? My “baby” is 18! I have NO idea how that happened.
I saw in Readers Digest a quote that really sums that up tho, especially for new mothers…
The days are long, but the years are short.
Hope that everything is just fine!!!
Oh wow. I hope everything’ll turn out just fine…!!
fingers crossed that everything is ok!!
That is scary. Mom’s can’t help but worry. I pray that will early detection and intervention (if she does have it) that her prognosis will be very different.
Hope this isn’t too depressing, but I had a daughter named Allison. She died in utero half way through the pregnancy. We are not sure what happened, but they said she could have had heart or kidney problems (she had severe swelling). I am glad your Allison came home with you and has been healthy for so long.
I’ve so enjoyed catching up on your blog this evening- I’ve missed seeing your posts! It sounds like your summer has kept you incredibly busy, though. Your daughter is in my prayers.
I know that must be scary as a mother. We are all just going to have to believe that she is going to be okay.
Quite a story. I was glad to see the test results were good.
Wow … this hits home hard because I’m still reeling from my sister’s news just over a week ago that she needs a kidney transplant. I’m not a blood-type match, but I would have been immediately disconsidered because I had kidney issues starting in my late teens.
I’m so glad she is so far so good. I think that must be a good sign.
And I love your Halloween banner!
Jenn, so glad everything turned out great with her tests. I’m sending healthy vibes her way. Thanks for sharing this story with us readers.
I love your Halloween blog theme
I’m so happy to read this. It must be terrifying!! I hope it’ll all fly past her.